


How May I Help You?

by FivePips



Series: Tumblr/One Shots [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chance Meeting, Customer Service, M/M, Remus is rude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 16:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15733557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips
Summary: Remus works for a company doing online chat customer service. He's been terrorized by idiots online all day, his neighbor smells like he's rolled in sardines, he's run out of chocolate, and his boss just made ANOTHER homophobic comment. He's done. Over it. Who cares if he loses this job anyway? Then his next customer pops up into his chat.....Who uses a fake name like Sirius anyway? aka the one where Remus is a Rude customer service asst. and Sirius finds it hilarious.





	How May I Help You?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starstruck4Moony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starstruck4Moony/gifts).



Remus wanted to take his pencil and shove it in his eye. It was that point in the day folk! He couldn’t wait to finish his degree so he could teach and get away from the mind numbing hell of customer service. At least he didn’t have to hear people speak to him, he was assigned to the online chats. But those people were just as clueless as callers. For instance, the person that he was chatting with now, wanted to return a swimsuit they already wore. They couldn’t comprehend the fact that there was a policy that they could not return bathing suits for hygienic reasons.

“God,” Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. He really wanted a piece of his emergency chocolate but his desk stash was empty.

It all started this morning when he woke up to the smell of sardines in his flat. It made his stomach do rolls as he rushed to get ready. Since he had an upset stomach, he skipped out on breakfast and didn’t have his morning cup of coffee. He couldn’t understand where the foul smell was coming from until he stepped out into his hallway. The smell seemed to be coming from the flat across from his.

“What’s going on, Lupin?” Malfoy, his supervisor came over to his cubicle.

“Nothing, just an idiot trying to return a bathing suit.”

“Mmm, I see.” He nodded. “Well deal with it, don’t cry over it like some poofter.”

Remus was about to open his mouth and tell the man off but he couldn’t get the words out. He also needed the damn job. But he could find another one, right? Probably not because the company would say he verbally assaulted his supervisor. So, he sat and looked at the screen while Malfoy walked away. Remus clenched his jaw so tight that he felt like his teeth were going to crack.

Finally, he got the woman to understand that she was going to have to keep the bathing suit. Then for five glorious minutes he had no messages pop on his screen. It was almost time to leave for the day, not that he was looking forward to going back to his smelly flat tonight but he was planning on getting drinks with Marlene and Dorcas. He very much needed a multiple drinks.

Just as he got his hopes up a new chat popped up on the screen from a “Sirius”. Who uses a fake name like that?

 **Sirius** : Hi, I have a question

Remus rolled his eyes at the person’s message. Most people do have a message.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : That’s why I’m here.

 **Sirius** : Right, yeah, so I ordered something the other week and I’m worried that it’s not going to make it my flat.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Why would it not make it to your flat?

 **Sirius** : I know I had put in the right address for my new flat but I just checked the status of my order and it says that it’s being shipped to my old flat.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Are you sure you put it correctly into the address book and clicked save?

 **Sirius** : Are you having a bad day?

Remus lifted his hands from his keyboard for a moment and furrowed his brow. He knew that he was being a bit of a jerk but he wasn’t expecting that.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : I’m not sure what that has to do with you package.

 **Sirius** : Nothing. But you’re not being very customer servicey.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : I’m just trying to understand your problem.

 **Sirius** : At the moment you having a bad day.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : What about the missing package fiasco?

 **Sirius** : We’ll figure it. So, what happened?

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : I can direct you to another agent.

 **Sirius** : No! Come on, mate. Why’s your day so bad?

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : There’s no way we could have messed up where your package is going unless you had it set for the wrong place. So, it’s going to be going to your old flat.

 **Sirius** : Well, someone in Bangkok will love my leather jacket. It’s sold out now. You don’t think it will be in stock again?

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : I don’t know which jacket you’re referring to. I’d need the item number.

 **Sirius** : Whatever. So, the bad day.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Is there anything else I can do for you, Sirius?

 **Sirius** : Yes, what’s wrong?

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : I’m going to end this chat now that everything is taken care of.

 **Sirius** : Does the place treat you bad? Or is it just a generally shitty day.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : It’s time for me to go home. I apologize about your package. Have a good night.

Remus closed the chat by sending the man a survey to fill out on his experience, hoping the man wouldn’t rate him too low. He didn’t fancy having a conversation with Malfoy about it.

Not too long after he left work, he was at the pub with Marlene and Dorcas having a drink. “Okay, so, you know my friend Lily?” Marlene asked.

“Yeah, the ginger.”

“She’s convinced that her new boyfriend’s mate would be perfect for you.”

“We met like three times. How would she know?” Remus said before taking a drink of his beer.

“She’s an excellent judge.”

“I don’t know.” Remus shrugged. “I don’t fancy going on a blind date.”

“Why don’t you come to her flat Friday? She’s having a party to celebrate the summer solstice. It’s really just an excuse to party.”

“Well, I guess a party wouldn’t hurt.” Remus said. “You’re going, right?”

“Yes, and you know the Prewetts and Alice and Frank. They’ll all be there.”

“Fine, why not.” Remus concluded. It wouldn’t hurt for him to go.

***

The next day, Thursday, Remus went to work, feeling slightly better than the day before but he still hated having to show up for work. He couldn’t wait to quit. The day went smoother than the one previous, so he wasn’t ready to completely pull his hair out by the time it got to fifteen minutes before the end of his shift. Again, Sirius’ name popped up on his screen. “What the fuck,” Remus muttered under his breath.

 **Sirius** : You know how many times I had to open and close this thing until your name popped up?

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Are you stalking me?

 **Sirius** : No, I’m just curious if you’re having a better day now.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : It was better until you popped up to bother me.

 **Sirius** : I was being nice! Aren’t people nice to you?

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Not usually here.

 **Sirius** : Well, people are stupid.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Did you find your package? You can probably call the shipping company, they might be able to do something about it.

 **Sirius** : Did that, they said that it was too late and too far on it’s way.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Next time make sure to check the address before you hit the confirmation button. And check the email you get too right away.

 **Sirius** : I will.

 **Remus_Customer_Care** : Is there anything else I can do for you?

 **Sirius** : No, hope you have a nice night!

Remus sent the survey as usual and went to logging off in the system.

***

Work was fine and Sirius didn’t contact him at the end of the day this time, which was good because Remus wanted to get home and shower before going over to Lily’s. Thankfully his flat no longer smelt like sardines after he kept his windows open for a full day and lit about twenty candles. He also sprayed the hallway with Febreze so the smell wouldn’t cling to him when he went in and out of his place. He really didn’t want to smell like that, especially when he was going to be in a flat with a bunch of people.

When he got to Lily’s, the party was in full swing. There were a lot of flower crowns and pastels. Remus felt a bit out of place with his dark wash jeans and black tee shirt. Marlene and Dorcas were just getting there as well so it was nice to go into the party with them. Lily had a balcony there were people jammed on it to enjoy the fresh air. Lily came over to greet them when she noticed her new guests. “I’m so glad you could all make it!” She grinned. “Did Marlene and Dorcas tell you about my friend?”

“Yes.”

“Good! I won’t tell you who it is. I’m curious if it will happen naturally.” She grinned. “Grab a drink and mingle.”

Remus listened, going to the kitchen to grab a drink. There was some sort of rosé punch that was in one of those cute drink dispensers. Remus went for that because it looked good. As he was pouring someone tapped him on the shoulder. “You must be the bloke Lily wanted me to meet.” The voice said as Remus turned once his cup was full.

When he turned he found a man who was a few inches shorter than him, so he was tall but Remus was normally the tallest in the room. He was wearing lilac jeans and a sheer flowly white top. He was also wearing a flower crown that looked nice with his long black hair. He was beautiful with piercing blue eyes and a sharp jaw line. “It’s just, you’re new and I’ve met nearly everyone else. Blimey, you’re tall.”

“Thanks? Ah, I like your flower crown.” He pointed to the purple and pink flowers.

“Lily made them. It’s actually not my usual aesthetic. I normally wear clothes closer to yours.”

“Well, it looks nice. I didn’t get the memo on how were supposed to dress.”

“No worries, James is the same. He said pastels look shite on him. I’m Sirius by the way.”

Remus furrowed his brow for a moment. How common was that name. “Really?”

“Mate, don’t make fun. I’m the brightest star in the sky. What’s your brilliant name then? Steve?” Sirius looked offended.

“No, no… it’s a great name. It’s just… I’m Remus.”

The realization dawned on Sirius face with a huge smile. “Remus Customer Care.”

“That’s not my real full name!” Remus defended himself.

“In my head it is. How was your day? I meant to get online to ask but I was busy with some stuff.” Sirius asked.

“Do you talk to all your customer care agents like that?”

“Are you rude to all your customers?”

“I was having a bad day.” Remus finally admitted.

“I know, I can forgive. Especially when you’re so handsome.”

“I can’t believe you’re the bloke Lily wanted to set me up with.” Remus shook his he had in disbelief.

“The universe is a funny thing. So, what happened to make your day so bad?”

Remus explained his horrid day, from the sardine smell and no breakfast to the lack of chocolate to his boss’ homophobia. Sirius listened intently, nodding and making comments all along. “I’m sorry you had such a shite day. You should sue your boss. That’s shitty. Can I complain about him somehow?”

“I don’t think so, only if you’ve dealt with him.” Remus laughed.

“I’ll figure something out. You should work for James’ dad’ company. He’s Lily’s boyfriend, my mate. His dad own a hair care company and they treat their employees a lot better.”

“Oh, that’s nice. But I’m almost done there. I just have a semester left a school.”

“You shouldn’t make yourself miserable.” Sirius said.

Remus nodded, maybe he should listen. “Let’s not talk about work now.”

“Good idea! Come on, I’ll introduce you to James. I won’t even mention a job.” Sirius grabbed his hand and pulled him to the living room.

He met James Potter then Sirius got him to dance. Afterwards they got more drinks and sat down to talk in the corner of the balcony, pressed up shoulder to shoulder against one another. Then they danced again before more drinks and more talking. By the end of the night he was a little drunk, very happy, and very much falling for Sirius Black. “So, can I see you again?” Sirius asked as they rode the elevator down.

“Of course.”

“Can I have your number? I don’t fancy trying to track you down on the website again.” Sirius handed him his mobile.

Remus agreed and put his number into his phone. By the time he finished they were on the ground level. “I’m glad I came. I’m also glad you’re not completely mad.”

“Only a bit.” Sirius chuckled as they headed for the exit of the building. When they got on the street they said their goodbyes and promised to make plans. Just as Remus turned around Sirius stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Sorry, but I would love to get a kiss.”

“I can do that.”

“Brilliant.” Sirius said before Remus leaned so their lips met. “That was very brilliant,” Sirius said when he pulled away, his hands clenching the front of Remus’ shirt. “You’re going to get some great service reviews.”


End file.
